Healthy and Well?

Day 1
It's New Year's Eve, 2012, and I'm not very healthy or well, unless the 'or well' is 'orwellian', because... well, let's just say there's a lot of it so why not blog about it.

Now 38 years old and out of shape with bad habits that make me older and bring me closer to death. Lulled by television to the point of becoming a marshmallow. A circle of friends that is shrinking, scattered and increasingly distant. A toxic and oppressive influence over significant aspects of my life. Financial insecurity. A huge responsibility that promises to tax my energy and resources to no end.

It occurs to me that the experience of creating this list, which could go longer and more in depth, is a little bit like sunning myself while complaining about gamma radiation. Instead of being a Hulk about it (yeah, that joke was awsome), why not talk about what I want to do about it?

Create better habits. There are many, many habits I have always wanted to cultivate but there has always been an excuse not to. For one, I would like to run to work instead of taking the bus. Also, I want to get into the habit of climbing the outside of my building to my apartment instead of taking the elevator. OK, it takes 40 minutes to get to work by bus even though most of the route is on an expressway and I live on the ninth floor. But seriously, there is nothing about my lifestyle that is healthy.

I don't want to eat meat anymore.... that's something my inner voice has been screaming about for years. I just don't want to. Still, there is currently a small pile of ground beef digesting in my gut that I thoroughly enjoyed eating. Why are we always in conflict with ourselves? Maybe other people aren't. Maybe I'm the only one who would like to stop eating trashy non-food with plastic sauce while my belly keeps expanding?

When I was a child, I thought that by the time I was 20 years old I would look like He-man and be a master of ninjitsu. I'm still waiting to look like He-man, although I did achieve a thin Spiderman a couple of years back... if only for a couple of months. Another Spiderman would be fine. I'd be happy with another one of those. And I could happily swap ninjitsu for something less glamorous and deadly... like yoga.

I want to have a circle of friends who aren't just work friends and won't need to fear getting wrapped up with my problems. I have some very toxic areas in my life that affected my job and friendships last year and even harmed the peace of mind of others.

In a year's time, perhaps it would be best if I weren't in Turkey anymore. This second year was a little bit unintended. I'd like to either go back to America or someplace with lots of Buddhism and good noodles.