It's been awhile since I posted on here, and I've had some mixed results.
First I tried to use habitforge.com to send daily e-mail reminders to get into the habit of working out with the P90X DVDs that I brought with me from the states.
It's fine when it starts building and a get a couple of days in a row under my belt, but I really don't like doing the program. Exercise videos feel insincere to me and I've been searching for some adequate explanation as to why it's such a plastic form of self-improvement.
There's that line from Fight Club: "Self-improvement is masterbation. Now, self-destruction..."
When I was in the best shape of my life, when I was serious about what I was doing, there was an honest-to-goodness potential for self-destruction; the possibility of getting hurt. I used to log a lot of hours at the gym, but cycling took over completely. Without scenery and sounds moving around me, curbs and obstacles to negotiate, physical activity feels sterile. Exercising in the living room with a DVD is fine once in awhile, but it's not viable for me as a complete program.
So I decided to get outdoors. For additional motivation, I decided to 'miss' my bus home. Then the only way home was on my own two feet - a 40-50 minute run to the next train station. It worked out for a few days, then a coworker said she was interested in running too.
Running took over. Runkeeper.com is brilliant for this. It logs the distance, time, and date. We decided to train for the Eurasian marathon in Istanbul this November. It looked really good for me, before I injured myself. (http://runkeeper.com/user/misterjohn/profile)
I took some anti-inflammatory/painkiller stuff that the doctor prescribed for me, but it's been three weeks now since I've been able to run at all. It's the back of my heel, and while it's not excruciating, it still hurts. I've been avoiding the doctor, but I'm going to have to go soon even though I already know what he's going to say: Rest it. It's probably small tears in the achilles, a little bit above the place where it connects to the bone. It's from pushing too hard and not stretching properly. It's part of exercising like an idiot. It's part of getting older. It's part of life. There is a surgical option that sounds a little bit involved, but I think it's mostly for serious cases... or screaming mimis and people who simply like going under the knife.
Not being able to run leaves me with no choice but to do the living room thing for awhile while I cool my heel, but it's a little bit tough to bear.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Making my way back to health
After indulging in really lazy and unhealthy habits for most of my life, I sometimes wax nostalgic for those few years when I was actually in really good shape. Not the kind of great shape that a magazine would be interested in, but really quite good. Then I fell into old patterns, which became deepened and more refined until basic sensible food like apples and carrots started to look like medicine.
In making my way back to good health, I feel as though I've got a wide turning radius to contend with. A total change overnight could result in relapse or failure within a matter of days. Simpler, smaller things seem to be the way to go. I'm moving in the kind of direction I want. For example (and this is contentious as a health choice), I've stopped eating meat. I haven't missed it at all, as if part of me has a ratcheting mechanism that won't allow my appetite to move back. If there is no other dietary choice, or if someone makes me a gift of some meat, I'll eat it. My wife spent a lot of money on some beef the other night and didn't make anything else, so I ate it. Other than that, I've been totally off the stuff without any cravings.
The big habit that i want to get into is waking up early and exercising in the mornings. The major problem here is that I want to take 40 minutes to an hour to work out when I'd normally be sleeping... and for a teacher that last hour of sleep is more valuable than gold. However, that's the only time I can reliably do it. I recently had to wake up early to talk on Skype, and it felt nice to wake up earlier and my performance was just fine during the work day. A morning workout would feel tremendously difficult, but I think the benefits will become clear soon enough. Now, if I can only drag myself out of bed...
In making my way back to good health, I feel as though I've got a wide turning radius to contend with. A total change overnight could result in relapse or failure within a matter of days. Simpler, smaller things seem to be the way to go. I'm moving in the kind of direction I want. For example (and this is contentious as a health choice), I've stopped eating meat. I haven't missed it at all, as if part of me has a ratcheting mechanism that won't allow my appetite to move back. If there is no other dietary choice, or if someone makes me a gift of some meat, I'll eat it. My wife spent a lot of money on some beef the other night and didn't make anything else, so I ate it. Other than that, I've been totally off the stuff without any cravings.
The big habit that i want to get into is waking up early and exercising in the mornings. The major problem here is that I want to take 40 minutes to an hour to work out when I'd normally be sleeping... and for a teacher that last hour of sleep is more valuable than gold. However, that's the only time I can reliably do it. I recently had to wake up early to talk on Skype, and it felt nice to wake up earlier and my performance was just fine during the work day. A morning workout would feel tremendously difficult, but I think the benefits will become clear soon enough. Now, if I can only drag myself out of bed...
Saturday, January 7, 2012
New Habits Die Pretty Easily
For the New Year I'm sworn not to panic if I fail at keeping a resolution, which is good because I'm not technically doing very well at changing my habits.
One thing I did that I believe was a very positive step was to create an account on habitforge.com that gives me a daily reminder in my e-mail. Of course I could be using it more constructively - each time it asks me if I succeeded in my goal of working out, I have to click 'No' and hope that no one is reading, so just by asking it's reminding me to hold up my end of the bargain. Other sites ask users to put up some money that they'll need to sacrifice if they fail to keep their goal, but that's a little bit too much like self-flagellation for me.
In other news, I've made the announcement that I'm going to become a vegetarian. That's right. I've been wanting to do it for a long time, but every time I see a nice sandwich or borek with a little meat in it I fold like a broken chair in a convention hall (was that a good metaphore?). I used to be a vegetarian... I mean I was a vegetarian for about a year in university... until I met that girl who happened to be a pretty good cook. Steak tasted pretty good then. Mmmm... steak.
Nevermind. This time I'm going through with it.
One thing I did that I believe was a very positive step was to create an account on habitforge.com that gives me a daily reminder in my e-mail. Of course I could be using it more constructively - each time it asks me if I succeeded in my goal of working out, I have to click 'No' and hope that no one is reading, so just by asking it's reminding me to hold up my end of the bargain. Other sites ask users to put up some money that they'll need to sacrifice if they fail to keep their goal, but that's a little bit too much like self-flagellation for me.
In other news, I've made the announcement that I'm going to become a vegetarian. That's right. I've been wanting to do it for a long time, but every time I see a nice sandwich or borek with a little meat in it I fold like a broken chair in a convention hall (was that a good metaphore?). I used to be a vegetarian... I mean I was a vegetarian for about a year in university... until I met that girl who happened to be a pretty good cook. Steak tasted pretty good then. Mmmm... steak.
Nevermind. This time I'm going through with it.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Pizza and Self Improvement
The funny thing about self improvement is that I want to eat pizza. Pizza goes down so easily that a large pizza can disappear before you know it, and that's exactly what happened tonight. Most of the pizza disappeared into me. It was a large... shared by two people. All I can say for the experience is that the pizza was vegetarian... and that it was delicious.
During the day, I wish I had time to trek up the low mountains that are visible from the school I work at. They're just rocky, sandy mounds with a lot of homes and the side, but it looks like a nice steep walk. I want to run, I want to go cycling... but after a long day at school I just want to go home, sit down and eat something handy.
My current life simply isn't organized to encourage the kind of changes I want to make. However, I achieved a certain calm today that I haven't felt in years by finding faith in my own desire to change.
If you want to make changes, then you want to make changes and you can go in that direction. Don't freak out if you fail.
During the day, I wish I had time to trek up the low mountains that are visible from the school I work at. They're just rocky, sandy mounds with a lot of homes and the side, but it looks like a nice steep walk. I want to run, I want to go cycling... but after a long day at school I just want to go home, sit down and eat something handy.
My current life simply isn't organized to encourage the kind of changes I want to make. However, I achieved a certain calm today that I haven't felt in years by finding faith in my own desire to change.
If you want to make changes, then you want to make changes and you can go in that direction. Don't freak out if you fail.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Healthy and Well?
Day 1
It's New Year's Eve, 2012, and I'm not very healthy or well, unless the 'or well' is 'orwellian', because... well, let's just say there's a lot of it so why not blog about it.
Now 38 years old and out of shape with bad habits that make me older and bring me closer to death. Lulled by television to the point of becoming a marshmallow. A circle of friends that is shrinking, scattered and increasingly distant. A toxic and oppressive influence over significant aspects of my life. Financial insecurity. A huge responsibility that promises to tax my energy and resources to no end.
It occurs to me that the experience of creating this list, which could go longer and more in depth, is a little bit like sunning myself while complaining about gamma radiation. Instead of being a Hulk about it (yeah, that joke was awsome), why not talk about what I want to do about it?
Create better habits. There are many, many habits I have always wanted to cultivate but there has always been an excuse not to. For one, I would like to run to work instead of taking the bus. Also, I want to get into the habit of climbing the outside of my building to my apartment instead of taking the elevator. OK, it takes 40 minutes to get to work by bus even though most of the route is on an expressway and I live on the ninth floor. But seriously, there is nothing about my lifestyle that is healthy.
I don't want to eat meat anymore.... that's something my inner voice has been screaming about for years. I just don't want to. Still, there is currently a small pile of ground beef digesting in my gut that I thoroughly enjoyed eating. Why are we always in conflict with ourselves? Maybe other people aren't. Maybe I'm the only one who would like to stop eating trashy non-food with plastic sauce while my belly keeps expanding?
When I was a child, I thought that by the time I was 20 years old I would look like He-man and be a master of ninjitsu. I'm still waiting to look like He-man, although I did achieve a thin Spiderman a couple of years back... if only for a couple of months. Another Spiderman would be fine. I'd be happy with another one of those. And I could happily swap ninjitsu for something less glamorous and deadly... like yoga.
I want to have a circle of friends who aren't just work friends and won't need to fear getting wrapped up with my problems. I have some very toxic areas in my life that affected my job and friendships last year and even harmed the peace of mind of others.
In a year's time, perhaps it would be best if I weren't in Turkey anymore. This second year was a little bit unintended. I'd like to either go back to America or someplace with lots of Buddhism and good noodles.
It's New Year's Eve, 2012, and I'm not very healthy or well, unless the 'or well' is 'orwellian', because... well, let's just say there's a lot of it so why not blog about it.
Now 38 years old and out of shape with bad habits that make me older and bring me closer to death. Lulled by television to the point of becoming a marshmallow. A circle of friends that is shrinking, scattered and increasingly distant. A toxic and oppressive influence over significant aspects of my life. Financial insecurity. A huge responsibility that promises to tax my energy and resources to no end.
It occurs to me that the experience of creating this list, which could go longer and more in depth, is a little bit like sunning myself while complaining about gamma radiation. Instead of being a Hulk about it (yeah, that joke was awsome), why not talk about what I want to do about it?
Create better habits. There are many, many habits I have always wanted to cultivate but there has always been an excuse not to. For one, I would like to run to work instead of taking the bus. Also, I want to get into the habit of climbing the outside of my building to my apartment instead of taking the elevator. OK, it takes 40 minutes to get to work by bus even though most of the route is on an expressway and I live on the ninth floor. But seriously, there is nothing about my lifestyle that is healthy.
I don't want to eat meat anymore.... that's something my inner voice has been screaming about for years. I just don't want to. Still, there is currently a small pile of ground beef digesting in my gut that I thoroughly enjoyed eating. Why are we always in conflict with ourselves? Maybe other people aren't. Maybe I'm the only one who would like to stop eating trashy non-food with plastic sauce while my belly keeps expanding?
When I was a child, I thought that by the time I was 20 years old I would look like He-man and be a master of ninjitsu. I'm still waiting to look like He-man, although I did achieve a thin Spiderman a couple of years back... if only for a couple of months. Another Spiderman would be fine. I'd be happy with another one of those. And I could happily swap ninjitsu for something less glamorous and deadly... like yoga.
I want to have a circle of friends who aren't just work friends and won't need to fear getting wrapped up with my problems. I have some very toxic areas in my life that affected my job and friendships last year and even harmed the peace of mind of others.
In a year's time, perhaps it would be best if I weren't in Turkey anymore. This second year was a little bit unintended. I'd like to either go back to America or someplace with lots of Buddhism and good noodles.
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